Everyone has one......

I always try to be honest and open with my mental illness. Sometimes I feel like I am only focused on the positive and never show the negative or the bad days. 

Well I wanted to share the last 4 days. Without going into private details, I'm in a depressive state. It is why I haven't been on the blog since October. 

It's always hard to explain, but I feel like the real me, is sitting next to the person in this picture. 

This is me. Struggling. Missing the one person I can talk to, the person who gave me life. There was no makeup no brush ran through my hair. I've been drowning in a world I don't want to understand. Anxiety and anger over things I know I cannot control. 

Now saying this I know what has to be done. I may not be able to control my circumstances in my life, but I know I control how I react. I do know my strength, and am taking the steps i need to to snap out of it. Yes I post silly workout photos on Instagram and facebook, but I have learned to mask pain and depression, and I know what I stand to lose if I stop the things I love, like exercise. Writing this makes me feel better, getting it out there. I know what I am capable of becoming and know this illness is not who I am, and I am not about to stop my goals because of it. 

XOXO

ERIN