The Road To 30.... starts now!

All my life I was thin.... until I wasn't... Life happens. I went through the worst two weeks of my life. It was in the summer of 2007. My dad calls me at work..... talk to your mom he said.... I couldn't understand what was happening but knew I was needed. My sister was not available due to a test for getting her license in her field of work, so I went to the  wound clinic. That day mom had her leg amputated. Diabetes is not a joke or something you can take lightly. I cant remember how the next event happened, but I remember the phone call, EVERY word. I called my aunt to let her know what was happening with mom, she was silent then the words that would change my life in another dramatic way came out of her mouth, "I don't think grandpa is breathing" I was in a state of numbness, some how after minutes of silence she said "I know he's not breathing, he's gone. In that moment I felt so...... I still don't know how to explain it. All I will say is my friends, Who also were my coworkers picked me off the floor and carried my weight for many many days.

      The reason for this story is to give background. In the months that followed I was diagnosed with depression, Which would after months of nothing working, no therapy, no medication, NOTHING, helping I went to get a mental health screening. Bi-polar. That was it. At the time, and sometimes I still do, I viewed it as a curse... I was told I developed it with the onset of difficult times which is common with adults. I also turned to food. And lots of it.

       In that first year after my diagnoses I went from 136 pounds to one 165 pounds. but another couple of years it went to 170, then to 180, and then 205. I'm 5 ft 1/2 an inch. do the visualization. I was BIG. Now I will say that on my wedding day I weighed 189. I had joined Weight Watchers, and lost a little weight, because I didn't really Follow the program..

   

       Now don't get me wrong I WAS FIERCE  the day of our wedding. I truly felt beautiful.Shortly after our wedding is when I reached 205. Getting married, planing a wedding, while having Bi-polar disorder, and stress, all that stuff was reason enough to STUFF my face! Its not an excuse, I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER! That is really the first time for me saying it out loud, to all of you!!
 
       Cut to December, I finally got around to changing my name, and took a new ID picture for work. When my new card was handed to me I thought they gave me the wrong card. No joke. I came back to work and asked my BFF if I was really that big. And We don't sugarcoat ANYTHING for each other. She said with a sincerer but stern face, "YES" She had been nagging me to go to the gym for MONTHS. I always had an excuse. So that evening I went to our gym on campus and paid to work out, I also rejoined Weight Watchers, and planned my walking program.

 
      Just like that my life changed. Everything just clicked with weight loss. Before I knew it, it was May. I was down 28 pounds! WOOHOO! Right? Yes and no. In the middle of  May, my BFF had fallen on hard times, she went home to her country. I couldn't be with her to help her. I felt guilty, my own fault not anyone else's, I stress ate everything including a jar of peanut butter in a 2 hour span (no joke, it was full too).  She was gone 3 weeks, I had no drive. But I didn't gain! When she came back I tried my hardest to be her rock. Cut to June back on track down 33 pounds! By then we went on our day trip (this blog was born).

       By July I was back! My parents and sister went to Vegas. We we taking care of the house, animals and watering the plants and yard 2 times a day. Hot hot summer. When they came back the hubs and I were relieved. Then the evening on the 8th happened, the house fire. The story is on the blog if you wanted to read it. That's all I will say about it. Needless to say I ate EVERYTHING in sight. Buy August i was back to 185. Not in a hang out with my friends kinda mood. I had a falling out with the BFF. And learned she was moving back home.. I ATE. 192... She left in October.... We didn't speak, even on her last day. I ATE.. 198.....

     By December..... 199.... I was trying to get back on track. but my feet were too much. went to the DR. Bone spurs. OUCH! Needed surgery... 204...

     So with a heavy heart I rejoined Weight Watchers in January. So now I'm starting my journey over, and this is it! I'm DONE! I cannot be heavy one more minute. and my goal!!!!!!!................

     On my 30th birthday I will be in Vegas at a pool in a retro BIKINI!!! I have only wore a bikini once. I was 15 and was uncomfortable. I had a size aa bra and some tummy pouch. But this time I will WORK IT!!! Mark my Words right here and now!! It WILL happen whether i am at a good weight or not. I signed a contract with myself, and made a promise!!!!  So follow me on my journey. Every Monday I will have a new post with a picture for everyday and some words of wisdom, and maybe when I am fully able some Work out info!!!!!

     My parting "gift' is a picture of me taken 7 years ago. I was HOT! And I will look like this again!!! I'm the one on the left. ;)

XOXO Erin D.