Boobs... Boobies...... Breasts........

At first I hesitated to even make this post, but then realized it is a part of where I am at in my journey.

My boobs.... They were either nonexistent during my teenage years and grew in, in my early 20's and now as I sit here at 31 they are out of control. I hate them.

My breasts are becoming a joke that is quickly getting old. No offense to my friends but I hear the jokes and at one point they were funny.

That is kind of how it all started when I first got them. They were a joke for being so small. WE called them fried eggs. Cause that is what they looked like....

At 23 I started gaining weight and that is right where it went, to my boobs. At first it was a B cup then a C cup, and I was quite pleased with that, I felt they looked quite proportional to my body. And going from not having any to having some cleavage was AHMAZING!

Now this is where I am at today.

I am in between a D and a Double D. And I have become very self conscious with them. To put it bluntly they are too fucking big. I am aware when people are looking at them. And that is if I am wearing a shirt that shows some cleavage to just a regular shirt at the gym.

Frankly I am also uncomfortable, pain wise, you may not see the pain I am Physically in but I can tell you my back is constantly in pain. I also went to the doctor after these bumps started to form on the outside of them, turns out, that I had abused my body so much tiny little infections were growing because my skin couldn't keep up with the weight and how fast they grew.

Emotionally I have cried when I look in the mirror because of how they look. I feel disgusted.

Everyday is becoming a struggle for me mentally. I try to focus on the positives. And my hope is that some cardio and weightlifting will shrink them, if not then surgery will eventually happen.

What about you? Is there something like this that you struggle with? Leave me a comment or email me at: coacherin@erindowellfitness.com
And we can support each other.

Before No boobs....

After but still not where I am today.

Why Weight Watchers.....

So as I started the new year I looked back to when I was successful on my journey and where I wasn't. I had be so riddled with injury and depression that I worked out sometimes.... But ate whatever I wanted. So it brought me to where my journey began in February 2011, and Weight Watchers.

Please do not get me wrong, I AM still a coach with Beachbody, fitness isn't the problem, food and my emotions are. And when I lost weight the firs time it was because of weight watchers.

So why now? I need to be held accountable with my food not my fitness. I love the support from my meetings and the connections made there. Weighing in every week gives me a structured goal. And really no food is off limits. If I want regular pasta instead of Whole grain I can.

So what am I doing fitness wise? I am walking and doing a Beachbody program called Cize. I walk because it is what I love and I am doing Cize because it is outside of my comfort zone, dancing.... ME? Yes! It is also the only two things I can do without discomfort from my back and Sciatic Nerve.

So How did my first week go on weight watchers?? I was down 2.4 pounds!!! But this time my goals are not specific to just the scale!! I'm going by how I feel! And right now I feel great!!

Where has the time gone??

Happy New Year to everyone!

2015 was a struggle! But a beautiful one!


So what is up in the Dowell Land?

Well Brian in the past year changed jobs, and  left mine due to mental health issues. And in all that commotion we stopped taking good care of ourselves. As a result I have done damage to my back and body.

So what are we going to be up to in 2016?
Taking care of ourselves and our health. With doctor care I am able to do walks everyday. And as for nutrition? I re joined Weight Watchers.. This was a surprise to most people. So why did I sign up again? I have the workout part covered pretty well with my doctor but needed something to get my eating under control. And for me it just made since to go back to where I was successful in my eating habits. I'll have a blog up about Why weight watcher soon!! Hope Everyone reaches their dreams in 2016!!

Tasty Tuesday! Proteins and Amino Acids

We are taking Tasty Tuesday on an adventure into education.

Lets talk about Proteins and Amino Acids. What are they and why do we need them? What foods should you eat and how much?! Well first lets look at what foods contain the best for optimal health! Whey protein, brown rice protein, pea protein, sacha inchi, quinoa, chia, flax, amaranth are just a few of the highest quality Proteins and Amino Acids.

Ok Erin what do they DO? Well here is a small list of things that they do for your body!

• Help build and repair muscles 
• Reduce hunger and food cravings 
•  Help keep blood sugar steady 
•  Promote healthy skin, hair, and nails 
•  Support brain function to help promote alert thinking and well-being 
•  Support your immune system to help you stay healthy and strong

Lets look at the  sacha inchi, Also known as sacha peanut, mountain peanut, or Inca peanut.
Why is it so powerful? What makes it a "super food"? Well Sacha inchi is said to help promote weight loss. Sacha inchi in some countries is used to fight depression, reduce cholesterol levels, prevent heart disease, and help with diabetes management.

Here is a link to learn more Sacha Inchi

One of the easiest ways to get all of these  Proteins and Amino Acids is finding a nutrition dense Shake that contains these at its purest and natural form like shake listed here. Click the hyper link to learn more!! or simply click this link as well :
http://shakeology.gettingfittogether.com/EDOWELL2011/

Workout Wednesday: Hair Care

                              

This edition of Workout Wednesday is for all of us with color treated hair. I get it you spend a lot of money on personal appearance. But you can't let that be an excuse to not workout, no joke I know someone who won't workout for a week after she dyes her hair. (insert side eye here)

Folks just workout. So I wanted to share how I keep my color going well after it is dyed and with several workouts under my belt. 

1) Red heads, COLD water for washing. It sucks, but do it. Your color lasts so much longer. 

2) Good shampoo!  I rotate between two, one is a Pureology shampoo and conditioner, I only buy it twice a year when it is on sale at Ulta. The other is a off brand, but the ingredients are exactly the same, Moroccan oil shampoo and conditioner.

3) Product! Don't ever use heat on you hair with out product. 

Products listed above 

*Pureology protecting oil for blow drying

*Macadamia oil for my ends. 

*it's a 10 leave in miracle treatment (amazing)

*Sexy hair smoothing treatment, cause ask my stylist, My hair is a brillo pad!

*sexy hair root pump

* dry shampoo cause don't wash your hair everyday. I use it on my hair after a workout. 

*and I use 2 kinds of Hairspray, it depends on how I am styling my hair. If it is a vintage style I do one kind and for just every day hair its a lose hold spray.

My hair evolution

Battle Scars Part 2

So after assessing myself after my cleanse it is apparent that my journey is going to be very long. I have talked about medications and weight gain and weight loss here before. The medications I take for my bipolar make me crave carbs. And the truth is I let  the meds win. I chose to eat the things that I have eaten. And it sucks..

Food, pasta really, is my down fall. I have the relationship with food that is based on comfort. I am struggling with the realization that food is fuel, cause dammit food tastes good! 

One of my biggest downfalls is soda. I always seem to come back to it no matter how long I have been away from it. 

I don't have any magic pill, I now just have my passion of becoming a healthier version of myself. That's also why I coach. It holds me accountable. When you are a part of someone else's journey it really makes you look at yourself! 

Every day I wake up and try harder than the day before, that's how I am choosing to learn from these battle scars.

Here is another realization I found this photo the other day

This girl in this photo, she hated herself, thought she was fat. And wanted the perfect body. She also thought she could eat pasta EVERYDAY. Cut to 11 years later and she is working on the "perfect" body. But she realized that NO BODY is perfect. And the reason she works out now? Purely for her health!

Yes I know that I was skinny, in hindsight, but back then that is how I felt.

This is me today and I do have a ways to go bad god willing I am going to get there!

So here are my goals for April

1) 10 pounds

2) Watch my portions

3) Drink a gallon of water a day

4) No cheat meals until my Birthday

5) Working out 6-7 times a week

6) FACE the day i.e. look pretty 

Workout Wednesday: 10 reasons for you to sweat today!

I know that for me someday's it is so hard to want to workout! So I have decided to share with you MY top ten reasons for exercise and weight loss!!!

1) It helps to build self esteem. I have done an entire series on how to build self esteem which you can find here. But working out gives you an instant boost.

2) It lifts your mood. If you suffer from a mental illness I cannot stress how important this is for your health. If I am in a bad mood working out relieves that stress and I feel 95% better!

3) Working out helps lower your risk of diabetes.

4) Lowers your blood pressure.

5) Increases you memory and and help fight in preventing dementia.

6) Ladies it can help fight certain cancers

7) It helps with pain resistance.

8) Helps with motor skills.

9) Increases your ability to learn

10) It boosts your immune system!


So since today is the start of a new month here is my April before photo!

Focusing On Me

This journey I have been on has had so many ups and downs and curve balls. Each time I've told myself this is different a new start, and then I fail. I let the scale determine my success and failures.
When it got hard I just quit.

So what is going to change this time? Me. Plain and simple.

I am not using the scale except for this Friday and next Monday, to show my results from my cleanse. But after that it isn't a tool in my house to determine my worth.

Also this time I feel I owe it to myself to do it. I owe it to my mom and my health.

Loss is a tough pill to swallow and now I am choosing to move forward and no longer let the grief control me or my health. My mother wouldn't have wanted that.

So I am choosing to live again. To feel connected again. To let the bipolar disorder not dictate what my life is. I am choosing to become more spiritual, and not caring what that looks like to others, even the one's who know me and think it is out of character for me. I am finally choosing to find peace.

So how am I going to judge my health progress?

From now until my birth day (34 days) I am eating clean, working out EVERYDAY, and blogging about my progress/struggles. This wont be easy but I got this.

Also at the beginning of the month I will take a before photo and then an after at the end. I will use clothing that right now I need cooking spray or butter to fit into. (mmmm...)

So lets do this!

Confession

This is ME.

I weigh 198.6 after a really bad week with my eating choices and not working out. I was out on a work thing. I am doing some small jobs nothing full time. And I was out of town. I was going to do a whole blog post on how I did what everyone say's they will do, workout when on a business trip or on vacation. But the truth is I wasn't part of that 2 % that does that. And this at first made me depressed, disappointed, angry at myself and all of those emotions, I have been fighting a depressive episode all week, and I gave into it. So what are my plans moving forward? 

My goal is 3 pounds this week. Which means sticking with my plan. No pop, which I had plenty of last week. The first in many months. Also sticking to my eating plan and my workout plan. Next Sunday I will have my week 1 results and photos to help keep me accountable. 

What i love about my career is that being human shows my ability to relate to others. If you too are struggling and looking for accountability please don't hesitate to give me a shot to help you. That is my job, my passion, to help others who struggle just like me. Email me at dowellfitnes2011@gmail.com or click this link below to learn more!

·        http://challenge.gettingfittogether.com/EDOWELL2011

Tasty Tuesday: The Vito

So the hubs and I are obsessed with the #5 at Jimmy John's. We love it. But one we need it to be slightly healthier but without losing the awesome. So I decided to make one myself. Here is how that went.

what you'll need
2 1/2 cups self rising flour
2 tbs of regular flour, more if dough is sticky
1 large container of plain Greek yogurt
Salamis
Shredded lettuce
pepperoni the big kind
sweet yellow Onion
A vinaigrette dressing
Mayo  1 tsp

1) combine yogurt and self-rising flour in mixer using a dough hook. mix until it forms a ball, ad regular flour if it is sticky.

2) Tear dough in to small little balls. and place them in a mini loaf pan and bake for 25 min.

3) once the are done and have been cooling just simply make your sandwich with the rest of your ingredients (side note: we sliced the onion thin and put some dressing on them instead of directly on the sandwich) Add 2 of each meat.

Hope you all have a blessed day!!!

xoxo Erin 

First day, New me

From a young age we are taught education, and the value of working. Forget your dreams is what society is telling us. But what if we didn't follow the norm here. What if we do follow our passions. Furthermore how do we find our passion. 

From darkness we can find light. Some just know what they want and what passion drives them. But not me. I just floated through life for my first 28 years. I was stuck. Then from the darkest part of my life BAM ! I saw my purpose. What I was supposed to learn from it and how to help others.

I love a quote from Robin Williams " You are only given one spark of madness, and you shouldn't waste it." 

Now that spark is a huge flame. 

Another quote I LOVE is "Sometimes taking a leap of faith, means building your wings on the way down." That is what I am doing, and believing that you don't need the safety net or a comfort zone.

Is it scary? HELL YES. But I have to keep faith. 

Having the desire to help others live, and I mean LIVE a healthy life, is my way of honoring my mother. I want my story the one of a now motherless daughter, to inspire someone to change, to tell diabetes to excuse my french, f-off , to suck it. To show them that they matter not only to their children but to themselves. 

So in my new life, what is my definition of success? One, is that even if I have helped one person, I have done my purpose. Two success means never giving up, and for many years I would quit, or give up. I would start that weight loss or that hobby and quit. But not now. This is my life and I am choosing to live it un-apologetically. I know this means that some things or people will grow apart from me, and that's okay.  

So if you want a change or want to LIVE a  life Un-apologetically and have freedom Click the tab bars above whichever on suits you. or click the links below

http://mylifeasadowell.blogspot.com/goals

http://mylifeasadowell.blogspot.com/p/building-self-confidence.html

http://mylifeasadowell.blogspot.com/p/join-the-dowell-fitness-team.html

ItTakes a Village to Have Success

It takes a village to become a success! I am so ready for 2015! And I want you to be too! Looking for friends to join my village! Lets make 2015 the year to kick the can't to the curb! If you are looking for support in your journey of health, message me and lets get started! If you are a part of the village but have been hesitant to start lets get you going. The physical transformation is only part of the journey, it is the person you become mentally that is life changing! All it takes is to reach out and trust in that leap of faith!

Spread The Wealth with self-confidence

Everyday we get the chance to find out who we are. But what if you don't know what to look for? How do You become confidant?

Here is a break down of what I'm doing right now.

1) Finding My Passion

2) Positive Self Talk

3) Working Out

4) Giving Back

5) Finding My Routine

6) RED LIPSTICK

7) Learning Something New Everyday

8) Applying What I Learned To My life

9) Change My Perspective 

10) Spread The Wealth!

So this post took on a different way of spreading the wealth. At first I was going to tell you how to help others with what you know. But then what happened is what happened below.

I wanted to do this post as a way to let my loved ones and anyone I know how much they inspire me!

Everyday I see posts and glimpses into their lives, or interact with them some how.

They come from all walks of life and all have amazing stories about life, love, and loss. I won't mention them by name but they will read this post and know.

I see strength in all of them. From people who have lost children to siblings to parents. And that taught me how to grieve and be strong. Some of the strongest people I have seen crumble and helped to try to make it better. There are people who have overcome physical difficulties and proven how strong a person can be if they just have faith in themselves. And that taught me how to become strong and proud in a physical sense. Or the people who started the same weight loss journey and thank me because they started, they inspire me! 

These people keep me motivated when I feel like giving up. Or when I'm too sad and don't want to do anything other than cry because I can't talk to the one person who made any situation make sense. 

One thing I can say about where my life is right now is no matter what just keep going. Everyday every workout, every smile I make, every time I say I love you, every breath, is for and because my mom loved me. 

Xoxo

Erin

Mental Monday: Fitness Can Lead To Stability

The stigma placed on mental health is one that needs to be broken. It's time we start thinking about ourselves and how we live with our illness instead of reducing ourselves to our mental illness. We need to change our way of thinking.

I remember a time when I let my illness be my whole identity. I was consumed with it. And didn't like the person I was becoming. Medications and poor eating led to significant weight gain. Losing 2 family members and the stress that comes along with hospitals and things of that nature made me stop my workouts. I chose to stop, it was how I decided to react to the situation.

I know what made me stop, and I know what made me start again. My story, my illness, were no longer going to define me. It wasn't how I wanted my story to go. I wanted to make myself better, to inspire others in similar situations. And I remember the conversation with my husband, he didn't want to live another minute without trying to be better health wise. 

So in January of 2014 we mad our way to the gym like more than half of the population. It was for real, not easy. I was At my heaviest as was my husband. But we pressed on. I remember when things started to change, I felt better mentally, more than physically. Exercise was helping to stabilize my mood. The science is there so I won't get in to that other than this:  

That is what made the push of becoming a coach. I wanted others who suffer from mental illness or the loss of a loved one from diabetes to know, that in this crazy life there is someone just like them.

If you are ready to start learning how fitness and nutrition can help I am here to help

Something new and Self-confidence

Everyday we get the chance to find out who we are. But what if you don't know what to look for? How do You become confidant?

Here is a break down of what I'm doing right now.

1) Finding My Passion

2) Positive Self Talk

3) Working Out

4) Giving Back

5) Finding My Routine

6) RED LIPSTICK

7) Learning Something New Everyday

8) Applying What I Learned To My life

9) Change My Perspective 

10) Spread The Wealth!

So as we we are winding down on 2014, it is always a time to plan for what's next. But here is the cool part, you don't need a new year to start learning something new! 

I read personal development everyday to grow and change. I take the new information and think about how it applies to me and my life. I recomend personal development as a way to get to know who you are, and where you want to go and where you are capable of going. Besides reading them I listen to them on audio and do the exercises within them.

Right now I am reading, Born To Win, by Zig Ziglar. And it really has been a great read so far. 

I also recommend anything by John C Maxwell 

As well as, The Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy

Beside this kind of personal growth and learning something new about yourself, I also am trying to step out of my comfort zone and my reclusive nature and take some classes, or do something I've always wanted to do but was to chicken to do. For example, we started archery this summer, and I love it. 

As another example I have wanted my whole life to go and be part of a murder mystery party, well that just recently that happened! It was a wonderful experience and I can't wait to do it again! It mad me face my fear of social awkwardness, I was one of the main characters. And it was slightly less nerve racking because I had my friends there and my family, and I had an excuse to be vintage!

And the best part of learning something new or doing something outside of a comfort zone? Being normal is overrated! So just be yourself! But start your journey of growing now! 

Want to read the rest of the self confidence posts? you can do so Here

Want Help in starting your health and fitness journey? Let me be your Free coach!!!