Mental Monday: Finding Your voice

When I write a mental Monday post some days I have to fight the voices in my head that just want to complain. But then when the bigger picture comes in to focus complaining just isn't worth it.

I write mental Monday post to inspire others who may read this and decide today is their day to achieve the life they want.

So what does one do when the voices in their head, or the bipolar monsters, roar? Well the truth is you have to be the one who is stronger and louder than them.it is a skill we must master everyday. And it sucks. But to get us where we want to be we must do the important things that we don't want to do, and do it everyday.

Mental Monday: Trust

In life we all have trust issues. But in MY case of being bipolar, it is much more difficult to make friends and trust them.

This post will be a release for me, it is something that has been with me for a so long.

I know in life it really is difficult to trust people. But as a person living with mental illness I find it ten times more difficult.

My story of trust is dark and not something that I can let go of, yet.

With this illness you find who your true friends are, and that can be difficult. You put all your trust into someone only to have knives put in your back.


Over the last six years of my life I have lost many friends, some have gone quietly, others have ripped my heart out of my chest and led me in to deep depression. It made me question everything about my life. I felt so alone, and I was in the situation of having to be around them, I for lack of a better word was treated like SHIT. Mostly I stayed quiet, and cried when no one was looking. I had serious thoughts of self harm, not many people knew that, my confidant, my right arm, my wing man, treated me like dog shit, and it was an everyday thing. And I wanted to not exist. It felt like a bad divorce. And sometimes it felt like a funeral of what was some of the best times of my life. Even to this day I still cant look at some of my wedding photos without wanting to cry or punch something.

So how can we do it, trust others?

It is a leap of faith, and most of the time you build your wings on the way down.

The people that stuck around, that believed in me, I love them. Even if I rarely see them, due to many things, life, distance, or I will admit my own reclusive nature that keeps me away. But I love them!

Mental Monday: finding out your triggers/stresses/warnings

One thing I am still working on in my mental health journey and wellness journey is to recognize my triggers. For those not familiar, triggers in hindsight are warnings that a manic or depressive episode is coming.

This is something that has taken so much of my time to finding a balance in my life.  So what is the first step in figuring out what your triggers are. I hated this in the early stages of my journey, but mood charting is amazing. For me the more detailed charts were the best. I recommend one that has a slot for Meds, food, water. And then the times of the day to chart your moods. The best one I have found is here at DBSA

Sometimes finding out your triggers can be painful. It's hard to admit but family is a trigger.  It's hard when everyone thinks they know you, or certain people push your buttons for their own personal game. Also my former job at times was an added amount of stress on my health.

Money is also a huge trigger for me no matter how much or little I have. 

My best advice to anyone going through the ups and downs of mental illness is to just for 30 days try mood charting. If you need support from someone I can be that shoulder for you to lean on. We can do it together.  Just leave a comment or hit the contact me tab located at the top of the screen, or click here!

Have a healthy Monday!

XOXO Erin

Mental Monday: Fitness Can Lead To Stability

The stigma placed on mental health is one that needs to be broken. It's time we start thinking about ourselves and how we live with our illness instead of reducing ourselves to our mental illness. We need to change our way of thinking.

I remember a time when I let my illness be my whole identity. I was consumed with it. And didn't like the person I was becoming. Medications and poor eating led to significant weight gain. Losing 2 family members and the stress that comes along with hospitals and things of that nature made me stop my workouts. I chose to stop, it was how I decided to react to the situation.

I know what made me stop, and I know what made me start again. My story, my illness, were no longer going to define me. It wasn't how I wanted my story to go. I wanted to make myself better, to inspire others in similar situations. And I remember the conversation with my husband, he didn't want to live another minute without trying to be better health wise. 

So in January of 2014 we mad our way to the gym like more than half of the population. It was for real, not easy. I was At my heaviest as was my husband. But we pressed on. I remember when things started to change, I felt better mentally, more than physically. Exercise was helping to stabilize my mood. The science is there so I won't get in to that other than this:  

That is what made the push of becoming a coach. I wanted others who suffer from mental illness or the loss of a loved one from diabetes to know, that in this crazy life there is someone just like them.

If you are ready to start learning how fitness and nutrition can help I am here to help

Weighing in Sunday/moody Monday

So this week has been ROUGH, for me emotionally. Things I'm not ready to discuss here. So weight is no change from last week. 

So on to moody Monday.....

It is weird for me to have so many personal issues going on around me and have a medication that works. Lamitical is amazing, despite making my man sweat worse. My ability to cope with the problems is so much more clear. I was able to take control of the issue at hand. The perks of manic moods. I have had the depression side as well. I was able to feel my emotions and let them pass. 

I am dealing with major family issues here it is nothing out of the norm for our family, declining health of loved ones. I have had to deal with so many adult problems this week I am positive I will be gray by the end of the month.

That's all I am willing to talk about now. 

Xoxo