Boobs... Boobies...... Breasts........

At first I hesitated to even make this post, but then realized it is a part of where I am at in my journey.

My boobs.... They were either nonexistent during my teenage years and grew in, in my early 20's and now as I sit here at 31 they are out of control. I hate them.

My breasts are becoming a joke that is quickly getting old. No offense to my friends but I hear the jokes and at one point they were funny.

That is kind of how it all started when I first got them. They were a joke for being so small. WE called them fried eggs. Cause that is what they looked like....

At 23 I started gaining weight and that is right where it went, to my boobs. At first it was a B cup then a C cup, and I was quite pleased with that, I felt they looked quite proportional to my body. And going from not having any to having some cleavage was AHMAZING!

Now this is where I am at today.

I am in between a D and a Double D. And I have become very self conscious with them. To put it bluntly they are too fucking big. I am aware when people are looking at them. And that is if I am wearing a shirt that shows some cleavage to just a regular shirt at the gym.

Frankly I am also uncomfortable, pain wise, you may not see the pain I am Physically in but I can tell you my back is constantly in pain. I also went to the doctor after these bumps started to form on the outside of them, turns out, that I had abused my body so much tiny little infections were growing because my skin couldn't keep up with the weight and how fast they grew.

Emotionally I have cried when I look in the mirror because of how they look. I feel disgusted.

Everyday is becoming a struggle for me mentally. I try to focus on the positives. And my hope is that some cardio and weightlifting will shrink them, if not then surgery will eventually happen.

What about you? Is there something like this that you struggle with? Leave me a comment or email me at: coacherin@erindowellfitness.com
And we can support each other.

Before No boobs....

After but still not where I am today.

Pop... I can't quit you.... But I want to!

Sometimes love affairs start young. My first time was when I was about 6 or 7 and from that moment I was hooked. Looking back through out my life pop, mainly coke, has been a crutch for me.

Having a bad day... Have a Coke
Fighting with my parents.... Have a Coke
Need to wake up in the morning... have a Coke

Now I know what pop does to you and have always known, my Grandmother used to tell me about this lady who she went to church with who lost a lot of stomach lining from drinking 7 cans a day. But that never stopped me. I know what it does... I just don't care was my attitude!

But now being the heaviest I have EVER been, I decided it was REALLY time to stop. I've tried, and failed at this so many times that I have lost count. I even started to drink coffee to replace it so I don't get headaches.

But this year I set a goal for myself. 366 days (Leap Year) without it. Mainly it says Coke. But I have decided after discussing it with people  have determined this means ALL POP. Insert sad face here.

Here's why I asked that question. When I met Brian his mother introduced me to THE DRINK, Bourbon drink to be exact. It's a summer time kind of drink and within my group of friends I became famous for it. Problem is you uses 7UP with it. now you understand my sad face....

So alas there will be NO bourbon drink had by me this year.  Sorry in advance to my mother in law and to my friends I'm sorry someone else will have to be the life of the party!

But I want to leave the recipe here for you.

1 can of frozen Orange Juice
1 can of frozen lemonade
1 cup of sugar
6 cups of water
1 cup of strong tea
2 cups of Bourbon... or 3 ;)
mix this all together in a large container and freeze.
Once frozen mix with your favorite lemon lime soda
and you can add another shot or two in your cup!

Workouts! what I am doing!

One of my goals for this year was to step outside of my comfort zone when it came to working out. Now I wont be doing classes at a gym cause that is not my thing. I like to be at home or on a treadmill!

But I decided to do a dance program because this is out of my realm of stuff I like to do when it comes to fitness. And I don't Zumba!

Why not a class? When at the gym or a studio I feel completely anxious around people. I think the last time I tried Zumba I had a panic attack. It's not easy for me to be in a group setting.

So when the opportunity to try a new program from my favorite trainer came about I jumped on it for this new year! So I chose to Cize it Up with ShaunT!!!!

It is so much fun and I am sweating I think more than T25 here!! I love it!! For the first time Exercise is fun! Don't get me wrong I love walking, But this is fun and doesn't feel like a workout until I wake up the next day!! 

If you want to Cize it up with me click here!!

I am also still walking to ease my back pain. I am just going REALLY SLOW!!

What I am Loving about this program is how it is broken down! you get the dvd's and a get started guide. But you also get a food and nutrition guide, and a eating out guide!! Plus you get the calader above in the picture which will help you know what workout to do and it is two sided with an advanced calendar for the second 6 weeks! Plus If you want accountability you get a FREE coach! (me!)

Anywho ...... That is all I have for you today!!!!! XOXO
                                                                                      ~Erin~

Why Weight Watchers.....

So as I started the new year I looked back to when I was successful on my journey and where I wasn't. I had be so riddled with injury and depression that I worked out sometimes.... But ate whatever I wanted. So it brought me to where my journey began in February 2011, and Weight Watchers.

Please do not get me wrong, I AM still a coach with Beachbody, fitness isn't the problem, food and my emotions are. And when I lost weight the firs time it was because of weight watchers.

So why now? I need to be held accountable with my food not my fitness. I love the support from my meetings and the connections made there. Weighing in every week gives me a structured goal. And really no food is off limits. If I want regular pasta instead of Whole grain I can.

So what am I doing fitness wise? I am walking and doing a Beachbody program called Cize. I walk because it is what I love and I am doing Cize because it is outside of my comfort zone, dancing.... ME? Yes! It is also the only two things I can do without discomfort from my back and Sciatic Nerve.

So How did my first week go on weight watchers?? I was down 2.4 pounds!!! But this time my goals are not specific to just the scale!! I'm going by how I feel! And right now I feel great!!

Where has the time gone??

Happy New Year to everyone!

2015 was a struggle! But a beautiful one!


So what is up in the Dowell Land?

Well Brian in the past year changed jobs, and  left mine due to mental health issues. And in all that commotion we stopped taking good care of ourselves. As a result I have done damage to my back and body.

So what are we going to be up to in 2016?
Taking care of ourselves and our health. With doctor care I am able to do walks everyday. And as for nutrition? I re joined Weight Watchers.. This was a surprise to most people. So why did I sign up again? I have the workout part covered pretty well with my doctor but needed something to get my eating under control. And for me it just made since to go back to where I was successful in my eating habits. I'll have a blog up about Why weight watcher soon!! Hope Everyone reaches their dreams in 2016!!