The list

So I am super excited to be going to Memphis in a month. Graceland has always been on my list of things to do before I die or my bucket list. My list always changes with new things I want to do. So here it goes my list as it stands now. And these are  in order of what I really want to do.
1.Ireland and Scotland (I want to find out where my grandfather's parent were from and go to where Brian's family is from in Scotland)
2.Graceland (soon....very soon)
3.Go all over Italy and EAT!!! And not worry about how fat I'll become.
4.Travel the entire route of route 66 from start to finish.
5.Attend a Superbowl
6.Attend a KU game.
7.Attend a NCAA men's Basketball tournament Championship game
8.Go to Egypt and see the pyramids
9.Go to the Mayan Temple Ruins
10.Go to Germany
11.Attend NYC fashion week!
12.Wear a retro bikini and feel confidant
13.RUN a 5K, I walked my first
14. Walk/Run a half marathon
15.Walk/run a marathon
16.Participate in a Run For Your Lives Zombie 5K as a zombie
17.Participate in a Run For Your Lives Zombie 5k as a survivor
18.Learn to shoot a bow and arrow not the simple bow and arrow that they taught me in girl scouts or church camp but an actual Bow an arrow. This will be handy in the time of the zombie Apocalypse.
19.Build Our dream home...... Which is a zombie proof house..... Yes I went there....
20.Live in another state......
21.Retire on Oregon Coast
22.Open my own Vintage Inspired store
23.Own a Saint Bernard
24.Volunteer for the Alzheimer Association
25.Do a full on Pinup Photoshoot!!
26.Skydive on my 40th b-day
27.Go on an Alaskan Cruse
28.Visit the small town in Alaska where my grandmother Wood lived in.
29.learn to play the trumpet
30.Visit the Redwood National Forest
31.Go to Harry Potter World in Florida and the One they are Building in cali
32.Go to London with Ashley and Callie To search for Rupert Grint's Icream truck
33.Go to Toronto
34.Go back to Crazy Horse and see the progress
35.Live to see and Survive the Zombie Apocalypse(yeah I know this wont happen but a girl can dream!)

That's all I have for now...... I cannot wait to cross something off!
These are things I have done That were on the list before
1.Go to NYC
2.Go to Maine
3.See the last Harry Potter In I-MAX 3d at midnight
4.Get married by 27!
5.Dye my hair Coke can red!!

So here is a Shout out to my Lovely Friends Whom I Love From  the deepest parts of my heart. They Are Awesome!!!!
And We WILL Find that damn Ice cream Truck!!!!!!

This photo below was from our wedding night. After the wedding we all went out on the town and we found some zombies!!!

So this is as Close to the apocalypse I'll ever get! 

Happy and Healthy week Ahead to all of you!!!!!
                                   XOXOXOXO
                                             Erin D.

Weigh in time

Just a Quick check in with you all. Weight this morning was 188.9. Goodbye 190's!!! It was a shock because this week has not been my best. I ate a lot of crap and had some pop. I've been thinking about my upcoming trip to Memphis. And have set a goal of being down a total of 10 pounds by then. it is one month from today. I'm already halfway there because of my loss today!!!
My trip got me thinking about my bucket list, I have been an Elvis fan my whole life, I even cut my hair real short and at the time my hair was its natural color, almost jet black. I would walk around the house with my lip up and shake my hips. so needless to say Graceland is on my list. So on Monday I will share my bucket list with you all.

Also I am restarting my photo challenge on April 1st. I'll post the picks weekly on Monday's. I'm creating the monthly themes and concepts, but note I am NOT a photographer, I just want to share my journey with others. This is after all a big year for me in about a month I'll enter the last year of my 20's. Speaking of that Happy Birthday to my sister! she turns 30 today!!!

Words hurt.....

So I have debated sharing this on here all day. After much thought I will share only the words that this "person" said to me on Saturday I say "person" to be polite. I don't want to talk about the situation, only the words that were spoken...... "STAY FAT AND UGLY". Those words have been on instant replay in my brain since yesterday..... I have no words...

I lost control, I am forcing a smile on my face, I have low opinions of most of humanity, And they said how I think people look at me, fat and ugly.

Now I know that I am far from that, but some days I feel that way. I know I'm blessed to have the life I have. I know that my husband thinks I am beautiful, as do my friends, and my family. But those words have paralyzed me.

So what did I do today? I picked myself up off the pity party floor, and did what I am training myself to do.
I went to the gym, I worked out that much harder. And while those words will stay with me probably for most of my weight loss journey they WILL NOT define me.

On to much better news..... I weighed in at 190.1!!! A loss of 3.4 pounds!!!! YAY!!!!

I also didn't take pictures on Friday and obviously Saturday I wanted nothing to do with a camera... So here is today's after gym photo.

XOXO Erin D.

 

Working it out!! My nsv!!

Very proud of myself for committing to my 5:00 A.M. Work outs!! I feel the energy all day, and the bonus is that I am done with my work out so my evenings are free. My clothes are fitting better too!!  

I was also proud of myself for not stuffing my face after a tense evening yesterday. Instead I came home and went to bed, and I worked out those emotions at the gym! This is such a learning  experience for me. With my Bipolar disorder I normally just lose all self control. But each day I am trying to remember that I control IT, IT does not control me! I am trying to be more positive, fake it till you make it style. But still a positive step none the less! Here are the past few days of the Photo of the day!

Tuesday morning after my work out!!!

Wednesday hanging with my poochie!!!! 

Thursday after a 45 min walk with my sister and the dogs.  Yeah I  worked out twice!

XOXO 

Erin D.

4:30 am wake ups SUCK@@$#@%$^

This A.M. Sucked.... Only when I tried to get out of bed, once I got going  it was smooth sailing. I started to crash around 3:00 in the afternoon... Any Ideas on what to do when that happens?

I have my bag packed for tomorrow morning, just in case my left foot wants to go. I got a steroid injection in it this afternoon. Worst thing EVER! It hurt like a @#$$D$^$#%$%*$^&*#@$^&!  Don't want to do that again, but I might next Monday if there are no improvements.  

WSU played in the championship Missouri Valley tournament, But we fell short and lost by 3. None the less  I  rocked my shocker hoodie with pride. poop on you Blue chickens(Jay's)!

I am so very happy that the hubs joined me at the gym and is doing this journey with me! XOXO Mr. His goal for the week is one pound, I think he will do more than that! Mine is one pound also. But I'm hoping and wishing for more, but A LOSS IS A LOSS RIGHT????? 

 And this is today's shot as you can tell I am Pooped.... Off to bed I go.....

XOXO Erin D!!!

Weigh In 3/9/13 (Go Shockers!) xoxoxo!

So lets start With the weigh in...... 193.5.... I gained..... I ate like CRAP this week so I knew it was going to happen.

Tomorrow I'll start  my insane gym schedule. 4:30 am wake up sad face..... But it must be done.

 Pictures of the day yes pictures. Let me introduce everyone to Pete I had a wonderful time with Pete Dowell 

he normally lives in my car but it was so cold in there he ran off... Soon he will be back on my dashboard!! 

Best present  EVER! Thanks to my sister for Pete!

Down a pant size!

So a quick post this AM. Went looking for some jeans in my closet and couldn't find any size 18's but I found a pair of 16's. And guess what they fit! and are not to tight!! That feeling is so amazing!

Woke up at 4:45 got ready for work and walked the dogs for about 1 mile, maybe a little under. On Sunday I'm going to try going to the gym, if my feet will let me.

Here are my pictures of the day from Thursday and today. I tried to get a picture with both of my other fur babies however they no likey!

Angry cat on the right!! 

This is our youngest baby Riley! and mommy's favorite!

This is angry cat or better known as Baylee! I love giving her kissy face!!! she of course HATES it!

TGIF!!!!

Struggles = Stronger...... Right??

Morning all.. I'm in another motivation FUNK. I always look to how far I have to go in this journey and it kills my motivation. I've tried everything from picturing me at my goal weight in that retro bikini to setting smaller goals like 10 pounds at a time. But because I am limited on the amount of exercise I can do I get discouraged. For those who don't know about 8 or 9 months ago while I was well on my way to getting to my goal, I was getting increasing  amounts of pain in my feet so I just stopped EVERYTHING. It got to the point where I would get into my car after work and cry because the pain was to intense. So after gaining all the weight I had lost and complaining daily to my husband and my mother I went to get help. I had bone spurs on BOTH of my heals. GRRR.

I had my first surgery on January 2nd of this year, and the second surgery on the 15th of February I had the second. I should be healed by now right? Wrong, my left foot which was done first is still hurting like I have the spurs still.. Double GRRR.

I went and did just 15 min of cardio on Monday and Tuesday my foot was unhappy, and so was I. I binged, I ate the pasta I've been craving for weeks. so now I find my motivation is severely lacking. I tried to walk the dogs like normal today to no avail. Had no desire. So I'm writing this morning and asking you to send me some happy vibes. Today WILL be better than yesterday. 

So here are the photos for my 365 photo project. 

Tuesday! Loved my hair! Which is very unusual  for me.

And today's photo. 

Happy middle of the week! 

XOXO 

Erin

Weight loss and bipolar medications

This is a topic that I want to address. When you first get diagnosed those first 6-7 months are hell. Your weight goes up then down up then down. Once it gets under control if you are not careful it can and will creep up.
I am of the majority of the people who have gained weight on medications. And the simple fact is that losing weight with these medications is an uphill battle attached to an already existing battle. study after study that you can find during a internet search will tell you that people with Bipolar disorder are at high risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. So what does this mean to me? Well I interpret this to mean that  losing weight is going to be more challenging for me and people like me.
It is weird my medications actually increase my cravings for foods that I love, like pasta. My Zolaft, when cycling, can make me crave starches and carbs so bad that I am down right mean.
So what is my action plan? I will follow Weight Watchers and do what I have to do. But for the cycling I am going to try to increase my exercise when i feel it coming on. In addition to that I have read some studies that suggest you increase your water intake during this time, it is supposed to increase the effectiveness of the medications, so instead of 6-8 glasses of water I will increase it to 9-10. all these little changes will add up and I'm hoping that my cycling will decease in either the number of times a year it will happen or decrease the length, I'll take one or the other.


Now on to the weigh in!!!

I weighed in on Saturday at 192.2!!! a loss of 2.2 pounds! I was very happy. BUT, I had a major cycling issue on Saturday that carried over to Sunday, I binged. I was upset with myself for finally giving into the cravings and all, but realized that for every accomplishment that happens there is the possibility of comming up short the next time.

And now the picture a day!!

My in laws came to town and brought the newest member of the Dowell family Joe Cocker!! so these are Saturday's pics of the day!!

Sunday!

Monday! get to finally go to the gym!

   XOXO
Erin