Moody Monday

Mood swings and my bipolar go way back. Before I was ever diagnosed. Looking back on my childhood I see the signs that I was not exhibiting normal moods. I was always wanting to be by myself. I liked silence and solitude. Don't get me wrong, I also loved being the center of attention as well, it's just as an adult with bipolar we call those manic episodes. I would put on plays, make up songs, and my favorite thing was pretending that I was Reba. 

The difference between my younger self and my teenage self was everything could be hormones. I was always either angry, reclusive, deliberately hurtful. Not gonna lie I was a BITCH. It's a wonder that I had friends.

But today at 29, I have to spend my time around people, it's what I do. And it's hard smiling and what not everyday. But I do it cause life isn't free. Usually by the time I come home I am mentally tired. I love coming home and unwinding. Usually I lay in bed or watch tv. 

But today I'm going to try something different, going to the gym. I will tell you I probably won't want to go and I'll argue with myself all the way there and then sit in the parking lot getting up the drive to go in. But I will go in. My moods will improve I know that all too well. 

My first goal I have set for myself is to go to the gym and move for 30 minutes. That's it 30 minuets. I gradually will move up to an hour.  My goal is to be down to a 14 pant by the middle of November .

This time I'm not focusing on that number on the scale. I'm really going to listen to my body, including watching my moods by charting them. 

And lastly.... But more for fun.... Here's my little Zoe!! Xoxo!!!