Weighing in Sunday...

So first off on weigh in Sunday is I'm back at the blog after some time away for various reasons. 

Weigh in Sunday is not only going to be about me weighing myself, but I also want to talk about other things that are on my mind.

So here I go....

1) I'm not ready for aging parents. Both my parents have disabilities, my mother's I've touched on here, and its gotten worse. And my dad has MD. So they rely on each other and my sister and i. It feels like the changes happened overnight. But it did not. Something's stem from not taking care of themselves and some have come with just getting older. I love both my parents despite my issues I may have with them. Seeing them gradually become this way and a lot of the events that have happened over a 5 year period led to me finding comfort in food. I feel that I'm too young for this to be happening, however I know People whom were in their early 20's and dealt with it. Life is nothing without struggle. And this is just the way things are going to be. So I will enjoy the good times and embrace the emotions of the hard times and hopefully I will gain from it.

2) having kids.... It's not in the cards for me. It isn't something I or my husband came to with any sort of ease, of course I have some desire to have a family. But and this but is why we are not having a conventional family.... I cannot with a clear conscious bring a child into my life and still have my mental health. I know that my mental health is always going to be a work in progress and I feel that it will not ever be to place where I can be stable to responsibly raise a human life.

And Brian gets that.

I'm not saying people with bipolar disorder can't or shouldn't have kids, many do and I applaud that. It's a choice. I just choose differently. So no little Dowell's from us. Unless you count my furry children(I do)

3) staying on the mental health kick.... I'm having the worst time trying to sleep. Boo. In fact I write this post at 12:00 am. 3 1/2 hours after the time I try to make my bedtime. Some people who suffer from mental illness have the problem of an over active brain. Mine never shuts down, it's constantly over thinking.

4) Sunday weighing in for weight watchers. Since I have been cleared by my dr scince July to exercise I haven't been able to get motivated. Mostly because I gained the 30 pounds I had lost. So with out further delay my first weigh in weight is......  198.2. I'm about to embark on this journey for the 5th time. And with hard work and support it will be my last.

That's all she wrote!! Have a good one!! 

Xoxo!!