I WANT PASTA!!!

For reals I WANT PASTA! It is my vice along with coke (the pop). These are my top to foods that give me "comfort"

Tonight I WANTED them, but did not have them. I wanted to be bad..... but I decided on Turkey burgers with Turkey bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, skim milk cheese, ketchup and light mayo. I also baked potato Chips in the oven. I did over indulge on some things but for the most part I'm proud I didn't buy the bag of pasta and alfredo and eat the whole damn thing!

My day was a huge struggle, but I made it. And I want to share with you something that happened to me on my morning walk today. I was down really down. And Let me fore warn you I am NOT religious, I believe in god, just not in church. Anywho I was walking and talking to myself and Whomever you think was listening. I said "please help me with my illness, please, help it not control me this time, don't let me eat my sorrows, please help" I repeated this several times finally when the depression  was starting to flare I heard a male voice "you can choose" I was puzzled in my head I was like WTF!!! then I was focused on the "what" can I choose.. and before i said anything I heard it speak again " It is a choice to be happy, you can let "others" affect you or you can choose to be happy, there is always a choice. Choose between happy and unhappy. But know that it is a choice"

Weird...... I thought I was cray cray! no one was around outside it was 4:00 am, and unless My dogs learned how to talk then this voice came from somewhere important. I personally want to believe it was my Grandfather talking to me, telling me that I have the tools to control this. It sounded like him, and I frequently talk to him(myself) about life, and finally he answered. 

Don't get me wrong After that today was still totally a struggle. I wanted candy, didn't want to do a damn thing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh so hard that i was crying. So I just took it one thing at a time

Anywho here are the photos of the day (excuse the trash on the floor, I have dogs that get into everything)

XOXO!!!!!

Erin D.