Battle Scars Part 2

So after assessing myself after my cleanse it is apparent that my journey is going to be very long. I have talked about medications and weight gain and weight loss here before. The medications I take for my bipolar make me crave carbs. And the truth is I let  the meds win. I chose to eat the things that I have eaten. And it sucks..

Food, pasta really, is my down fall. I have the relationship with food that is based on comfort. I am struggling with the realization that food is fuel, cause dammit food tastes good! 

One of my biggest downfalls is soda. I always seem to come back to it no matter how long I have been away from it. 

I don't have any magic pill, I now just have my passion of becoming a healthier version of myself. That's also why I coach. It holds me accountable. When you are a part of someone else's journey it really makes you look at yourself! 

Every day I wake up and try harder than the day before, that's how I am choosing to learn from these battle scars.

Here is another realization I found this photo the other day

This girl in this photo, she hated herself, thought she was fat. And wanted the perfect body. She also thought she could eat pasta EVERYDAY. Cut to 11 years later and she is working on the "perfect" body. But she realized that NO BODY is perfect. And the reason she works out now? Purely for her health!

Yes I know that I was skinny, in hindsight, but back then that is how I felt.

This is me today and I do have a ways to go bad god willing I am going to get there!

So here are my goals for April

1) 10 pounds

2) Watch my portions

3) Drink a gallon of water a day

4) No cheat meals until my Birthday

5) Working out 6-7 times a week

6) FACE the day i.e. look pretty